An Apple this day could keep Everyone Away

'An Apple a day...'

We , Human Beings, are a lost race. We like Zombies follow and fell for the biggest rip-off in electronic history. We spent a mere 30K on a very shiny piece of metal. Very much like a highly sophisticated magpie.

Yes, many of the young hip folk would call this the iPhone or the 'Jesus' Phone (as in "Jesus!, What the hell were you thinking?!") and I'd like to still stress there is hope for us yet (A mere 2 million iPhones sold in 2008 in the US).
Now even though Apple has become a religion in some parts of the world and every 'iStore' is a modern kovil; we find people going there for their yearly darshan; there are few ,like me , who are definite protestants to this cause.

Devotees seeking darshan in Sydney kovil.

I've never seen Guruvayur so crowded.

Lets go to the day this preaching began. I believe it was at a Macworld 2007 event where Jobs
announced the launch of his new revolutionary iPhone which combines the features of an iPod , a phone (Yes, it has one) and a breakthrough internet communications device a.k.a web browser attached.
I must admit when I saw the video I was nearly trapped in the hypnosis Steve Jobs had conjured. Think of it like a moth to a light bulb. And when he uses the 'innovative' unlock feature everyone in the crowd gasps! Lo and Behold the IPhone!!!!!!!
If you haven't seen the video think of an adult waving a set of shiny keys at a baby. The baby's reaction was that of the audience. Yup, that would aptly describe it.

Ok enough of my cribbing. Let me gain your support and turn you away from the dark side, young apple-slaughter (yeah, bad joke but the only rhyme with skywalker). Lets talk about what the iPhone (Remember it costs 30K) has to offer us electronic geeks.
You can proabably search the internet and find a hundred sites dedicated to iPhone stinkers so I thought I'll give you a gist of my experiences with the all powerful Iphone.

Firstly,I will admit that the iPhone looks good, complete eye-candy and very appealing to the faint-hearted with deep pockets.
The iPod I have always appreciated and with the Touch and Video components added it seems a pretty good buy just for the interface (Playback, album art etc). But, you cannot share music over blue-tooth and you'll be surprised how annoying iTunes can get while syncing.
I'll choose an N95 over this any day.

Ok so now the Phone,
It runs on OS X which I think not even 5 percent of the world population uses (Macs) so Jobs can boast it has no viruses .And you'll find it boots just a bit faster than my desktop.
The SMS feature made me shoot myself.
Its a chat like interface. Cool. But with such a big on-screen keyboard you gotta remember what you typed as you cant see the text. (Bright side : Good Memory Game)
Another astounding feature : You cannot forward messages. But,Its always fun to type that good forward again and again and again. Right?
Don't even get me started on MMS ( Doesn't exist )
The Camera adds to the misery where you can ONLY shoot still photos. You cannot edit them or anything (again N95 sounds promising) and no shooting videos. Even if you do make the compromise you find that the only way your photo is going to be viewable is if you ask a professional photographer to use it or undergo a few months sniper training.
Adding to this further is the fact you cannot change your ring tone and the existing ones are so lame and soft you'll end up getting missed calls.
Now I'll tell you about the revolutionary internet communication device.
You can send e-mails but no CC and BCC features. No select all option either. Good luck deleting mails one by one. And you cant download attachments either. (Just to rub salt on the wound)

THERE IS NO INBUILT INSTANT MESSENGER.

The famous Safari Browser just looks good if you ask me with a lot of extra large icons that the disabled and aging can use. But there is no support for JAVA or Flash.

If I haven't converted you with this just go to any web site and get convinced.
If Jobs spent more money in R&D rather than Marketing maybe he'd make more sense.
By the way, The battery cannot be removed and they expect you to buy a new one ( $70) if this one fails.
Verdict for iPhone:

Future :

DON'T EVER BUY ONE. Even if someone throws one at you.

Past or Present:

Use the many hidden features of the iPhone such as Paperweight, Finger Print acquirer, Scratch guard tester and once again a Paperweight.

Go for better phones like the Nokia N95 or even the HTC touch if you're Touchscreen crazy.

I use the HTC vox smart phone and somehow, though jealous of Pocket PCs, I'm happy.

The latest most anticipated product releasing this FALL '09 is dedicated to Jobs. Its called the iSuck.
Coming soon to a store near you. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.